It's time to rejuvenate!

                                                                                     Hello,

For about six or eight weeks my soul has been going through a search. Its been feeling a sense of "need to do something" which also means that it is getting a little bored with the way its just been idling these days. This has led me to think if I should head out into the country with pen and paper and see and write about what a little bit of personal soul search can reveal to me in terms of expressing itself in a number of different ways.

I can think of several ways of releasing this expressive urge. I know one way of making my soul dance again would be quite simply to dance in the rain (like no one is watching). Reminds me of a wall plaque I saw at a dollar store which read something like 'life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but it is about dancing in the rain'. Something like that. Then I could actually get into music, something I have been very passionate about from a very young age. Singing seems to be a perfect combination with playing the keyboard. Then again how about just plain singing karaoke.  

There are many reason I think that I should take some alone time out. Like it is exactly one year since my trip to Ontario at Cosy Cove on the south shores of Nipissing Lake. Primo Place and I still remember those glorious sunsets

old endings, new beginnings

hi there,
they say that when something ends then something else begins. cycle of nature is the best example. birth, life, death then re-birth and on and on it goes. rather then lose time and energy with thoughts of 'what had been' one should be enjoying the 'what is'
more than once i have heard comments about the wicked past (why we find it necessary to seek sympathy i will never understand) when the present is by all accounts filled with so many blessings.
i know that my tomorrow will be better than my today and day after tomorrow will be better than tomorrow and so on till eternity.
God bless. goodnight :)

India's a calling!

Of late I have been having issues. Well, don't we all! My issue is pressure.....blood pressure to be exact. Never did I have a reading that did not bring a smile on my GP's face till about this time last year. I figured that there could be half a dozen reasons, all genuine. Or maybe a dozen reasons if I can throw in six non-genuine ones. Let me get serious here. We are talking about the silent killer (as it is commonly called).
I have tried fixing my diet. Tried excercise (watering the garden or sitting on my garden swing and swaying my head back and forth like a pendulum to keep the swing from losing its swing!). Having even tried remaining calm and happy by ignoring all my domestic chores be it laundry or dishwashing or making up my bed every single day. I remember one bright kid of mine suggested that making one's bed was a real waste of time as it would get unmade again that same night when we have to go back to bed!
I think I may found the true culprit that has found its way from my heart to my head and back to my heart and all the arteries and capillaries and veins in my body. This culprit resides in my mind and never for a moment shows any desire to go away.
It is a thought - the thought that I should go to India and as soon as I deplane at Mumbai Airport I should discard my dress pants and cotton/polyester shirt and socks and my shiny black leather shoes. I should put on some nice wooden sandals and a pure cotton 'dhotti' and march of into the India of my ancestors to witness first hand where my great grandpa plowed the land and my even greater grandma made chappatis on a charcoal burner for him.
Alas, but times have moved and maybe where my great ancestors toiled the land and made their modest homes has been reduced to a city of concrete - 'western' style.
Maybe I should keep my dress pants and all and check into an ashram. Ooooom Shaaaaanti.

How beautiful is the rain!

Hello,
It was so nice to have some rain for a day after a particularly warm spell. The grasses and gardens are much prettier now and the air certainly seems to have been cleaned up a bit too. Lets see what tomorrow brings. I will sleep in tomorrow if I hear raindrops outside. I will sleep in too if I don't hear rain drops! I will enjoy my day off. Goodnight!

Me and cooking

Hi,
Suddenly feel like cooking again! Just loved the drumsticks I threw in the pot and into the oven with some fresh crushed ginger/garlic, some yogurt and cou[ple teaspoons of tandoori masala powder. I am eyeing the frozen halibut in my freezer and seeing in my mind's eye that it will convert into a delicious serving of 'machi bhat' hopefully this weekend. I must be getting back to 'normal' after a few weeks of living on finger food!
Frog's legs on the barbecue was the topic of the evening on CKNW with some Ron guy (Shewchuk?)

Just plain wonderful

Hello,
I went to Richmond yesterday to a prayer hall that I frequented for over two decades. Nostalgic! Met my son and his significant other at a restaurant afterwards. Spoke with people I love and all in all that was a wonderful evening. It happened just because I decided at the spur of the moment to get away from my daily routine. Try it you guys out there and you will see what I mean.

how wonderful to know you really care!

Hello,
Just thought of this song I used to hear as a teenager. Never thought too much of it then but after four decades I find that one of the biggest challenges of being an extremely positive person is my expectation of others being positive and caring. It is time to retire - to bed - and I know tomorrow will bring another beautiful day!!

Eat, Pray, Love

Hi,
I must admit that I do not know too many people but almost everyone I know is reading this book! I have tried to find ayurvedic health camp/spa/resort sites in India and boy there are so many.
Tells me that we are not as healthy as we were and wonder how my grandkids will fare by the time they become teenagers.
Ciao

Relationships in relation :) to time

Ah, relationship!!!!
One of the most biggest problem I have is that my mind has to sense and feel positive growth around me, in my life and in my soul. I cannot, never ever, be happy in a status quo situation. I am patient, yes, but I have to see more pluses than minuses when I revisit any situation or relationship. Granted that I do not have control on all matters. Relationship is a two-way street. My question is that if you establish grounds for a relationship, and it seems like a pretty solid ground at that, what would you do if this relationship is:
a) active but apparently going nowhere (it must go somewhere if it is active, you say?)
b) turns out to be based on what it will be percieved by others to be
c) long on goals but short on action
d) giving you a feeling of being locked in an idling car on a hot afternoon with the air-conditioning busted
b) all of the above
Okay maybe I have stretched things a bit here. My point is that life is complicated as it is (they say keep it simple!). Why complicate it further?

Glad to be here

Missed one yesterday so am going one more today. I am finding my enthusiasm for writing slowly come back. Its not totally there yet. Will try and get some rest this long weekend. Need to excercise more often. Maybe will go for a walk tomorrow. Or help my niece move. Healthy mnd in a healthy body. Ciao for now.

Will the real AJ please stand up!

Hello,
I just wonder how may people are out there just not being able to live their lives as they would like. There are "what will people think?" issues. Or "maybe soon" issues. How about "I have a reputation to take care of" issue. Let me just say proscrastinate as much as you want while life passes you by. Then suddenly it will be "I wish" situation when your time will come. And come it will. Hopefully one does not have too many regrets then!!!!!!!!

Let's see what happens

Hi friends,
Often I hear the phrase 'let's see what happens'. What do I read from this simple very commonly used term. Does it tell me that there is no time to dwell on it now to act to take some concrete decisions. Or does it tell me that the Creator is in control so we do not have to plan anything for our future for events small or large. Maybe it just is a nice way of saying that this conversation is now closed! In any case whats with this world these days. Everyday I sense more and more that everyone is losing one's grip on life. Let's just enjoy the time we have in every which way we can and then 'let's see what happens'. Bye for now.

Know when to fold 'em

Hello everyone,
It's been a while since I have last visited here but there have been many moments when I have sat down to pen something and the writer angel (that sometimes lands on my right shoulder) has flown away just in the nick of time! Today, however, I have decided to jot down a few things that are on my mind - angel or no angel.
1. I will start writing again regularly
2. I will seek out friends with positively sparkling personalities
3. I will meditate 10 minutes every day
4. I will never reply to sarcasm with sarcasm
5. I will seek the power to heal hurts
6. I will make this world a better place
7. I will always respect the laws of Nature
8. I will love with all my heart
9. I will sing and dance for as long as I am in this body
10. I will do one good deed everyday

Time to write again

Hello,
It's time to write again! This time the differences are that I will write short sequences but more regularly. Like almost everyday. I am seeking a release of some kind. Have come across people that are, for some reason, unable to demonstrate their true spirit. They are like a beautiful flower that will shrivel before it even blooms to its full glory. I want to not be like that. So I have choosen this medium of writing. To feel my spirit soar and feel God.

About moving on

Hello everyone,
Just about everyone I have met, friend and foe, since my wife, Nasim, passed away has told me to 'move on'. These well meant morsels of advice come from souls that love me, care for me or just simply want to show support. The trauma from losing a spouse is, in terms of depth, the worst. Divorce is a close second I am told.
That is not why I am writing today though. I think that I have achieved a reasonably clear sense of direction for my life since I have been alone. I have had to 'let go' of some memories and possessions so that I can 'move on'. The whole excercise sounds to me a little selfish. I hear people telling me to move on and carve my own life. For my own peace and happiness.
I just keep getting these thoughts that I am turning my back on something that was good to me for a long time. To a soul that shared life's journey with me through rough and mostly tough times. Through raising two wonderful children, through the demanding routine of heading out to work for almost three decades, through the ups and downs of trying to live lives of caring for family, friends and people that we were destined to meet along the way.
The spiritual/mental aspect of letting go is one that I can achieve at my own pace. I have done well in that area. My timely holiday with a powerful purpose has put my soul in a plane that before I did not even know existed . I am happy with myself. Quite happy. My wonderful close family has been key in effecting this new direction for me. God willing, I will be a grandpa all over again next month. All my dreams and aspirations I share with this family of mine as they are all an integral part of the remainder of my journey through this life.
Where am I going with this? Simply put the time has come to 'let go' of the home that I lovingly dressed up and babied since over 3 years ago. Everything that was done to enhance this home was done with one objective. Is that what my wife would absolutely like. Will it make her more than just happy. Will she be able to feel it and enjoy it. The reason: we both kind of knew this was going to be her last abode on this dear Earth. Therefore I feel it a little compelling, to say the least, that I am letting go of this home to move on. I have decided to write to my wife and explain to her in a form of a letter why I am doing this so that she can provide the energy to help things along. So here goes:

My beloved,
It has been some time that you have left me. I know that where you are now 'time' is a limitless abundance. Therefore I am not even going to mention how long its been or how long it seems to me to have been since you said goodbye. To be honest to you I think that you have just moved on so that you can better take care of me and our dear children. Surely we all feel the excitement about the changes that we, your family on this Earth, are experiencing and are about to experience as time moves on.
These forthcoming and highly anticipated changes have dictacted that I move away from what we called our home here. The only one, of all the homes, that just you and I shared for the most precious last part of our lives together. I feel compelled to say that this move is in no way meant to signify my desire to wipe away memories we had together. I am sure that I will remember this home for a very long time. Probably till the day that I leave this world physically.
Every morning when I wake up, on my side of the bed, I still remember how you asked me each and every day if I was up. Though you were in a lot of discomfort due to your physical challenges you still patiently waited for me to wake up so we could say our prayers together and head out into the new day with a renewed spirit of hope for another healthy day. The ensuite in our bedroom was out of bounds for me then as you had to use it at a moments notice. I am now the master of the facility but every time I use the shower I remember how when I helped you take your shower you would go through the precise routine with me from shampooing your ever-so-thick hair to final deep rinse.
Then it was on to a leisurely breakfast. How you would climb onto the bar chair and settle down at your favourite place at the kitchen island. The conveniently located kitchen items that made having your breakfast a snap! Though you were at it for a couple hours some days much to my chagrin. Maybe you timed these morning endeavours absolutely precisely as I do not remember you ever having missed the start of your favourite show,  "The Price is Right". The Kampar Patio Chair that you paded with many pillows and blankets and a heating pad still reminds me of the times you watched your beloved Canucks when you were able to. I must confess that you did get just a shade testy when your team failed to produce!
We filled the home with furniture that we had only dreamed about throughout our lives. I am so glad that we were able to do that. Ah yes! the granite counter tops, must have that. How you courageously walked through a cold December warehouse to check out the various colour choices for the granite and marble slabs. The bedroom suite and the living room furniture were choices you made after a tour of many furniture stores. Including fabrics colours and patterns. I could go on. Lynda was here yesterday and saw this house for the first time since she helped us purchase it and she said that the home was 'stunning'. This coming from a person who regularly sells million dollar plus homes is quite something.
Thats the crucial reason for this letter today. I will sell this home. To move on. Not from you, but with you. Like I said earlier there has been a surge of intensely positive energy throughout the family that surely you have something to do with. It will give me a reason to challenge myself to be the best dad in this whole wide world. I am upto this challenge as I know that from your plane you will guide us through the rest of our journeys. I feel happy that I am sharing this with you today as it may be just a matter of time when I will sign away this home with all its memories to a new owner who, I pray, will find the peace and joy that we found here together.
I want you to know that I was able to complete the garden last summer (after you left) and I have received compliments from neighbours and passers-by for the way it has turned out. The waterfall and ponds are still my steadfast and soothing companions and what is a new large wooden deck without a swing set and a barbeque grill. I could go on and on. I have spelt it out here and I am glad I did because in the morning someone will come in and assess the potential for this house. I know that you will be here. Like a true Taurean.
Then again I feel like asking myself why I am saying all this when you may well have designed all the moves from your new place of influence.
Thank you for your patience again, my dear.
Oh yes! The Canucks are at it again tonight at GM Place. Have lost three in a row. They need your attention and smile tonight too. Its ok by me to share your Energy.
Khuda Hafeez,
Abdul

There you have it. I will be ready for the realty team tomorrow. Hang on a second. Just received an email. This is what it says:

Hello Abdul,
Saturday January 16, 2010.

"Familiarize yourself with the details of the shifts in your home you are about to make. Plan for all the particulars and prepare to move ahead with your plan tomorrow. You'll be a genius at coming up with practical solutions today. Just be sure that these changes aren't based on your own need for power or control"

Received at 11:30 p.m. Friday night from a Numerology Master!!!!! Numerology will be the focus of my next blog.
Talk about Energy. My guiding Angel is truly defining the timing and pace. I like that and accept it with thanks. Thank you also for the family that I am so fortunate to be part of.

Till next time.
Abdul

If Winter comes can Spring be far away?

Hello again,
I bet you were thinking snow!
I am just thinking about the little low (winter) I am feeling and anticipating to come out of it (spring) super fast. I can see that as more and more uncaring and negative people move further and further away from my life they are soon going to be replaced by happy, bright and cheerful persons. Persons that do not sweat the small stuff. Or gossip. Or create living hell for themselves and those around them through manipulation.
I want to go back to bed with thoughts of how tomorrow and the next days will bring me happiness by surrounding me with people that genuinely love and care for me.
I am really glad I made the effort to write this at this time.
Feeling like a million bucks already. I am sending all of you happy thoughts and prayers.
Ciao,
Abdul