Hello everyone,
Thought I had dissappeared into thin air, didn't you?
Well I am back and I didn't think that I would be away for this long but that's me. Running in all directions and really getting nowhere in particular. A whole bunch of things are moving in the right direction though and more and more each day I can feel that, yes, I am going to be moving soon. Hope it is soon enough to catch the tail end of this really hot real estate market in the Lower Mainland of BC.
That is partly why I am writing today. No, not the monetary aspect of real estate but the 'grounding' aspect of home ownership. I was always told when I first arrived in this country to buy a home first and I always thought that this was like putting the horse before the cart. I thought you buy close to where you work. For most of my life that made more sense as work was a diurnal duty that had to be strictly observed if we were to survive. Literally. But that also meant that I would not be living in the woods where my heart belongs. Lets talk about the woods.
About three years ago I moved to an area called Delta with my wife. We picked a very select area called Sunshine Hills. The reason? Tall and beautiful trees everywhere you looked. Seemed gorgeous. We were like so happy we had found this place. The subdivision we moved to was roughly 27 years old at the time. Enough time for a pine sapling to get to a height of some 30-40 feet. The builder had made sure that the landscaping exuded the feeling of living 'in the hills'. We moved in around Christmas time in 2006. If you know Greater Vancouver even a tiny bit then you know that this is the dampest and the darkest time of the year. Except Christmas Day, of course. Our yard was a total mess with overgrown shrubs and bushes that dwarfed our one-level home and seemed quite chaotic. In the weeks that followed I started to work in the yard like I had never done before in my whole entire life. Just cleaning up. And cleaning up. There was this particular pine tree, just barely 15 feet away from our living room window, that had in the 27 years of its life grown to be a real monster. It stood like over 40 ffet high and its lower branches spread out from the top of our roof to about 3 feet over the street! Its pine needles were strewn on the grown like a foot high - and that's not even an exaggeration. I bagged them into about 15 garbage bags, the very large ones, and there was still more. What is worse is that the cedar roof on the house was completely covered by these very acidic pine needle. I purposely said acidic because you cannot even grow weeds under a pine tree for its acidity. Also its acidic needles have been known to eat away at cedar roofs. To add to my wows all the gutters around the entire house were filled with them needles. They call them needles for a very good reason. They are quite sharp and very challengingly painful to work with.
To top it all this particular pine tree was situated to the southeast side of our home and any chance of us getting a little sun through our skylights and windows was eliminated by it. The home felt always cold and damp. I had to do something about it. I started praying that those very long branches extending over our roof do not snap for obvious reasons. Then it occured to me that I had to make a sacrifice and have the tree cut down. I got on the internet and researched as much as I could about the North American pine tree. 8 out of 10 posts were from people that were having the same issues as I was. The final push came when I read an article on the net that pine trees are actually detrimental to the environment.
I consulted with a local landscaper. Unbeknown to me about 6 months earlier the local council had enacted a by-law protecting trees in the city. It was such a new matter that even the landscaper was unaware of it. The neighbours were a little irked. What a beautiful tree they said. How could I even think of hurting it. Of course these neighbours did not care about the reasons. If I had to prematurely re-roof my home it was not their problem of course. Plus I had to get a blower to blow the pine needles off the street and straight into my yard! The neighbours made sure I understood that!!
Let me just take us through the benefits of having a totally unmanaged 27 year old tree by your living room window. Lets talk for a second about the acidity in the soil around the tree. Easy fix, one may say. Just throw tons of lime on the ground that is affected by the acidity, roto-till thoroughly, and heavily water the ground for a couple weeks and presto, you have ideal soil for shady bushes for the next few months. Next year just repeat the process. Now let me make it very clear. I love to work in the garden but to haul a ton of lime every year to my driveway, then spread it evenly on the ground and then roto-till and water all smacks of environmental pollution to me. Besides the sheer monetary downside. It takes almost alternate days of blowing the yard and roof to keep it free from the mess from the tree. And they dont make hybrid blowers yet. All need energy and leave a mark on the environment. I am told that simply operating a household lawnmower for a couple hours is worse, from a pollution standpoint, than to run a six-cylinder auto for a whole day!
I took my case to the City. I presented my case to whoever cared to listen at the City Hall. I sent emails to a number of City staff on the advise of bylaw officers. I wanted to play by the rules. Gave them time. And more time. Six months later no response to all my desperate cries. Goverment bureaucracy at work. Thought I would cut them some slack. Made a couple more personal visits. It was like starting all over. There was no file created and I was left to go over my pleas like a broken record. When the Head guy in a department gives you the shove then you know its time to call your move. I did just that. Totally frustrated by the lack of response to my requests, I called a tree cutter and told him that I wanted to have the tree down immediately after the New Year Holiday. I was at work when the fellow started his work and had the tree down by the time I got back. What a difference to my airspace! I could actually see my house and the sun could now sends its most welcome rays onto my home and into it via a couple skylights. My wife moved her most comfortable chair to the living room window and took in the sun like a tonic. She was severely challenged by this time and the new sunny and warm spot she had found in her home was an immense blessing.
Where the pine tree stood, I now have a gorgeous garden with perennials and evergreen bushes. The view from the window is so soothing. The need for heat in the home has been cut down by the introduction of the Natural Heat from the sun. I do not have to get up on the roof each week to blow stuff down. I work outside in the garden as often as I can. It has made my life so much meaningful. Now that I am alone again. I can sometimes stand by my wife's favourite window and see her smiling down on me from the Heavens.
As a final note the City called me in. Slapped me with a fine for destroying the tree. Regardless of the inaction on the City's part for more than a full year. The Engineering Department has planted two maples along the same side of my house as replacement for the pine tree. I feel sorry for the occupants of this little rancher forty years from now when they will be challenged to catch the sun from their home due to these maple trees that will inevitably be about 30 - 40 feet high then. The maple leaves will have to be blown aside, packed in bags, get picked up by the City, get trucked to the City Compost site where heavy machinery will work tirelessly so that we can have good compost next year for another round of a gardening we will go.
If you ask me trees should be left in the forest. No question we should have some around but to plant trees, metres from houses today, with no accountability for future issues is senseless. Clearly a solar panel on a roof is not as pretty as an overbearing tree but the benefits of the first totally outweigh the benefits of the second.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Are we there yet?
Okidoki, have to confess that I have been so excited to write about my time in Ontario cottage country that just as I have made it to the computer my mind is drawing a complete blank. Wonder why.
Anyways I hope alls well on your side of the fence as it is ...............wait a second. Talking about fences. Mine just got painted the other day. The outside of my home did too! Well, what do you know. I made the most unexpected announcement to my children that I had decided to sell and move, at the very first opportunity I had to tell them, on my return from Ontario!!
Lets just talk about it for two seconds and then we will head back to Highway 401 North. For many years I had contemplated moving away from the city. The City of Richmond more specifically. Nothing wrong with that wonderful place. I think that would have also meant moving away from too many people and moving closer to cows and horses. I know that together with dogs, these farm animals will always give you love unconditionally. Enough said. Hopefully I list my home soon after catching up on the landscaping and working on the curb appeal. Think Langley/Aldergrove would be nice but then who knows where Destiny will take me. I am not worried as She has done a very commendable job so far.
OK, so now we are on Highway 401 and are cruising at a little over the legal speed limit which is fine by me. Aggie says we will be at our destination at 10:15 p.m. She has a nice silky voice but her tone is another matter. She is now saying that we should turn on to Highway 400 after 2.8 kilometres. Quite impressive but a little too 'structured' for my taste. I cannot see her though and speculate that she is in her mid-50s and probably experiencing 'hot flashes' as it is getting quite warm in the car. Aggie could be generating heat. There's another heat source without the carbon footprint! We are making good progress though and by the next couple hours are heading North on Highway 11. It is getting dark and I do a quick calculation of the hours I have been 'on the road' and almost spontaneously ask if anyone would like to stop for dinner. I was more than ready for a meal as it was coming up to 12 hours since I had anything to eat. There was a unanimous 'yes' response. Mercifully, the town of Orillia was minutes away. After everyone in the car felt confident that I meant what I said when I said that 'Swiss Chalet is perfect' we made a beeline for the restaurant and had a hearty chicken meal with that oohh la la dipping sauce. Why this restaurant never made it in BC is still something of an amazement. It maybe the size of their menu. Limited by BC standards. Or the decor. Vancouverites like to go for a dining experience with colour-coded walls, millwork and furniture. Ontarians don't care about the ambience. They are in a rush most of the time anyways. I say do what you are best at doing. Swiss Chalet definitely does chicken best.
By this time my cousin's wife had had enough of driving and I was kind of happy that Rishma, her Nike (just do it) kind daughter, took over the controls. Yeah, quite seriously the controls. She owns this one and half year old Suzuki something and the driver's seat is like a cockpit. Buttons here and there and brightly lit knobs of all sizes all over the dash. Nice. Wonder if you need to get a pilot's licence to operate these beauties.
When you have just gotten used to travelling at 110 kph for the last couple hours, 80 kph seems like you are crawling! I just thought that like the airplane pilot this 'pilot' would pick up the pace once she had gone over her flight path with Aggie. Lo and behold that just wasn't going to happen. Her mum explained that she has always trusted her daughter to get her wherever she is going quite safely. Aggie has re-calculated our arrival time at Cosy Cove to 11:30 p.m. I decided I wasn't going to get stressed out about it and the female duo in the front started belting out some Hindi favourites. When you combine fatigue with crawling over and above out-of-tune ra-ra-ra the nett result can be quite traumatic to say the least. Nothing, but nothing, was going to make me unravel. I reminded myself what the purpose of this cross-country trip was and joined the hoopla and decided that I will make the most of it. Sound advice no matter what. Around 11 p.m. we turned onto Highway 654 and I knew that we could not be far away. The highway is much narrower by Ontario standards and it was pitch dark. No worries, I thought, Aggie is here. 20 minutes later Aggie tells Rishma that we have reached our destination. Rishma stops promptly and with a 'does anyone even live in this part of the world' declares that she actually cannot see a thing out there. Which is immensely surprising to all of us as the Suzuki has a pair of pretty good halogens. Against all suggestions to drive a few metres forward, Rishma decides to head into someone's driveway and suggests that maybe that's Cosy Cove! What with no sign? Finally we are back on the road again but facing the way we had come from and Rishma gets Aggie to re-calulate. For some unknown reason Aggie figures out the direction we are facing and promptly suggests to 'drive 3.4 kilometres and make a right' on some very narrow country road. I was just thinking 'Ah finally we are in the country' when Aggie directs us to 'make a right on Watonian Road'. Rishma is now freaking out completely and swears that she cannot see a thing. My poor cousin. He is from Kenya, remember, is sitting erect on his seat and worried sick. Keeps reminding us that if you get lost in Kenya in the country side, well, you may never see the light of day again. As soon as Rishma turned onto Waltonian she suddenly screamed "there's @#*^#@ deer by the road". I was pleased I had picked the right place to go for a holiday! Share the space with deer and bears and wolves I thought. Anyways we headed forward slowly and my cousin's wife goes 'isn't this where we had been before'. Sure enough this was exactly the same place we had decided we were lost and what Aggie had done is make us go round a country block. I noticed the Cosy Cove Cottages sign on my side of the street and asked Rishma if she could see the sign and the driveway. "What sign, what driveway. I cannot see a thing!". Then everybody else saw it and Rishma proceeded to veer left and we were home.
Bud led us to our cottage called "Back of the Moon" (thanks, Bud, for staying up late) and I went to bed with total satisfaction and faith that the Genie was out there somewhere in the complete darkness. Also knew with utter confidence that Rishma needed to see an optometrist, and my cousin Alnoor (all 240 pounds of him) was scared to death. His wife, Minaz, actually stepped out into the darkness for a few minutes and came back in with a huge grin and said "the lake is a just few feet away from the cottage!". Aggie, our trusted GPS, stayed in the car. I knew that I would be up early walking on the beach trying to locate the Genie in the bottle. Before you could say 'boo' I was in my cosy bed at Cosy Cove and, unlike the past few months, was in no man's land in a flash. Tomorrow's another day, I had figured, but for now I had to rejuvenate, re-energize, retire.
That's it for now. Will try and capture as much as I can of the most wonderful 6 nights of my life when I talk to you again.
As usual Taslim and Hasan were kind of with me throughout the day, courtesy of their Blackberrys. Have I told you lately guys that I love you? Could I tell you once again somehow?
Looking forward to tomorrow. I babysit Inaya every Tuesday. Always keep Tuesdays free for that and it is so worth it. The hugs and kisses that Inaya generously smothers me with! Happiness is being a grandparent, most definitely.
Goodnight.
Abdul
Anyways I hope alls well on your side of the fence as it is ...............wait a second. Talking about fences. Mine just got painted the other day. The outside of my home did too! Well, what do you know. I made the most unexpected announcement to my children that I had decided to sell and move, at the very first opportunity I had to tell them, on my return from Ontario!!
Lets just talk about it for two seconds and then we will head back to Highway 401 North. For many years I had contemplated moving away from the city. The City of Richmond more specifically. Nothing wrong with that wonderful place. I think that would have also meant moving away from too many people and moving closer to cows and horses. I know that together with dogs, these farm animals will always give you love unconditionally. Enough said. Hopefully I list my home soon after catching up on the landscaping and working on the curb appeal. Think Langley/Aldergrove would be nice but then who knows where Destiny will take me. I am not worried as She has done a very commendable job so far.
OK, so now we are on Highway 401 and are cruising at a little over the legal speed limit which is fine by me. Aggie says we will be at our destination at 10:15 p.m. She has a nice silky voice but her tone is another matter. She is now saying that we should turn on to Highway 400 after 2.8 kilometres. Quite impressive but a little too 'structured' for my taste. I cannot see her though and speculate that she is in her mid-50s and probably experiencing 'hot flashes' as it is getting quite warm in the car. Aggie could be generating heat. There's another heat source without the carbon footprint! We are making good progress though and by the next couple hours are heading North on Highway 11. It is getting dark and I do a quick calculation of the hours I have been 'on the road' and almost spontaneously ask if anyone would like to stop for dinner. I was more than ready for a meal as it was coming up to 12 hours since I had anything to eat. There was a unanimous 'yes' response. Mercifully, the town of Orillia was minutes away. After everyone in the car felt confident that I meant what I said when I said that 'Swiss Chalet is perfect' we made a beeline for the restaurant and had a hearty chicken meal with that oohh la la dipping sauce. Why this restaurant never made it in BC is still something of an amazement. It maybe the size of their menu. Limited by BC standards. Or the decor. Vancouverites like to go for a dining experience with colour-coded walls, millwork and furniture. Ontarians don't care about the ambience. They are in a rush most of the time anyways. I say do what you are best at doing. Swiss Chalet definitely does chicken best.
By this time my cousin's wife had had enough of driving and I was kind of happy that Rishma, her Nike (just do it) kind daughter, took over the controls. Yeah, quite seriously the controls. She owns this one and half year old Suzuki something and the driver's seat is like a cockpit. Buttons here and there and brightly lit knobs of all sizes all over the dash. Nice. Wonder if you need to get a pilot's licence to operate these beauties.
When you have just gotten used to travelling at 110 kph for the last couple hours, 80 kph seems like you are crawling! I just thought that like the airplane pilot this 'pilot' would pick up the pace once she had gone over her flight path with Aggie. Lo and behold that just wasn't going to happen. Her mum explained that she has always trusted her daughter to get her wherever she is going quite safely. Aggie has re-calculated our arrival time at Cosy Cove to 11:30 p.m. I decided I wasn't going to get stressed out about it and the female duo in the front started belting out some Hindi favourites. When you combine fatigue with crawling over and above out-of-tune ra-ra-ra the nett result can be quite traumatic to say the least. Nothing, but nothing, was going to make me unravel. I reminded myself what the purpose of this cross-country trip was and joined the hoopla and decided that I will make the most of it. Sound advice no matter what. Around 11 p.m. we turned onto Highway 654 and I knew that we could not be far away. The highway is much narrower by Ontario standards and it was pitch dark. No worries, I thought, Aggie is here. 20 minutes later Aggie tells Rishma that we have reached our destination. Rishma stops promptly and with a 'does anyone even live in this part of the world' declares that she actually cannot see a thing out there. Which is immensely surprising to all of us as the Suzuki has a pair of pretty good halogens. Against all suggestions to drive a few metres forward, Rishma decides to head into someone's driveway and suggests that maybe that's Cosy Cove! What with no sign? Finally we are back on the road again but facing the way we had come from and Rishma gets Aggie to re-calulate. For some unknown reason Aggie figures out the direction we are facing and promptly suggests to 'drive 3.4 kilometres and make a right' on some very narrow country road. I was just thinking 'Ah finally we are in the country' when Aggie directs us to 'make a right on Watonian Road'. Rishma is now freaking out completely and swears that she cannot see a thing. My poor cousin. He is from Kenya, remember, is sitting erect on his seat and worried sick. Keeps reminding us that if you get lost in Kenya in the country side, well, you may never see the light of day again. As soon as Rishma turned onto Waltonian she suddenly screamed "there's @#*^#@ deer by the road". I was pleased I had picked the right place to go for a holiday! Share the space with deer and bears and wolves I thought. Anyways we headed forward slowly and my cousin's wife goes 'isn't this where we had been before'. Sure enough this was exactly the same place we had decided we were lost and what Aggie had done is make us go round a country block. I noticed the Cosy Cove Cottages sign on my side of the street and asked Rishma if she could see the sign and the driveway. "What sign, what driveway. I cannot see a thing!". Then everybody else saw it and Rishma proceeded to veer left and we were home.
Bud led us to our cottage called "Back of the Moon" (thanks, Bud, for staying up late) and I went to bed with total satisfaction and faith that the Genie was out there somewhere in the complete darkness. Also knew with utter confidence that Rishma needed to see an optometrist, and my cousin Alnoor (all 240 pounds of him) was scared to death. His wife, Minaz, actually stepped out into the darkness for a few minutes and came back in with a huge grin and said "the lake is a just few feet away from the cottage!". Aggie, our trusted GPS, stayed in the car. I knew that I would be up early walking on the beach trying to locate the Genie in the bottle. Before you could say 'boo' I was in my cosy bed at Cosy Cove and, unlike the past few months, was in no man's land in a flash. Tomorrow's another day, I had figured, but for now I had to rejuvenate, re-energize, retire.
That's it for now. Will try and capture as much as I can of the most wonderful 6 nights of my life when I talk to you again.
As usual Taslim and Hasan were kind of with me throughout the day, courtesy of their Blackberrys. Have I told you lately guys that I love you? Could I tell you once again somehow?
Looking forward to tomorrow. I babysit Inaya every Tuesday. Always keep Tuesdays free for that and it is so worth it. The hugs and kisses that Inaya generously smothers me with! Happiness is being a grandparent, most definitely.
Goodnight.
Abdul
Friday, September 25, 2009
When the going gets tough...........................
Hello everyone,
Picked up a book at the airport to read during my trip to Nipissing Lake. Chicken Soup for the Soul.
It says on the cover right under the title:
Tough Times, Tough People
TOUGH TIMES WON'T LAST BUT
TOUGH PEOPLE WILL
I think that this is an affirmation that we should all have in our back pocket all the time.
Just have to remember to reach for it at tough times.
I cannot imagine its Friday again. Haven't really done much this week. Oh yes, those pesky weeds. Never got around to pulling them out this week. Then again there's so much happening in my life again that I am just going to let the Universal Energy do its magic again. And get me a beautiful home in the country (after seeing to it that my truly blessed current home is sold). And get me that 3/4ton GMC. And a couple dogs (no rottweillers please). And how about a camper-trailer with a flush toilet or two. I cannot imagine myself running all the time to the rear of the camper to relieve myself! Oh! And yes, how about the Hindi karaoke music that I am overdue to receive. The list goes on. Finally, my dear friend, do not forget to get me that large screen GPS for those trips to the lakeside. Without the nagging female voice. Just getting used to my life sans nagging. Sorry Nasim, just kidding. That's my girl.
Well it's past my bedtime again. Blessed to have had a very pleasant day. And to have been able to talk to all my family today. I love you all to bits.
I know that you all love me too!
Ekdum.
Till next time, this is Abdul saying goodbye and God Bless.
Picked up a book at the airport to read during my trip to Nipissing Lake. Chicken Soup for the Soul.
It says on the cover right under the title:
Tough Times, Tough People
TOUGH TIMES WON'T LAST BUT
TOUGH PEOPLE WILL
I think that this is an affirmation that we should all have in our back pocket all the time.
Just have to remember to reach for it at tough times.
I cannot imagine its Friday again. Haven't really done much this week. Oh yes, those pesky weeds. Never got around to pulling them out this week. Then again there's so much happening in my life again that I am just going to let the Universal Energy do its magic again. And get me a beautiful home in the country (after seeing to it that my truly blessed current home is sold). And get me that 3/4ton GMC. And a couple dogs (no rottweillers please). And how about a camper-trailer with a flush toilet or two. I cannot imagine myself running all the time to the rear of the camper to relieve myself! Oh! And yes, how about the Hindi karaoke music that I am overdue to receive. The list goes on. Finally, my dear friend, do not forget to get me that large screen GPS for those trips to the lakeside. Without the nagging female voice. Just getting used to my life sans nagging. Sorry Nasim, just kidding. That's my girl.
Well it's past my bedtime again. Blessed to have had a very pleasant day. And to have been able to talk to all my family today. I love you all to bits.
I know that you all love me too!
Ekdum.
Till next time, this is Abdul saying goodbye and God Bless.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Let's just get this over with!
Hello beloved followers and all other listeners,
I am going to try and keep this short but it must be said and I think that there is probably no better time than now. Some of you know that I lost my wife, Nasim, on March 7 of this year. It has already been said in my earlier blogs. I am going to say it just one more time. And this time I am going to reveal how she was snatched away slowly but surely by the Supreme Being. I will also try and keep this very objective, no sentiments or heart-tugging stuff.
The year 2003 was an eventful one for my family. Nasim and I had both worked approximately 15 years in our respective jobs. She worked at Vancouver General Hospital and I worked for a multi-national airline catering company. At the turn of the century both of us felt lucky to have jobs we thought we would retire in! Then the chips began to fall. By the beginning of 2003 both of us knew that our days at our jobs were numbered. She was 50 and I was 55 by then. Not the best age to be knocking doors for work. We had struggled to put food on the table. Our jobs were the biggest jihad by far. Neither of us liked our work but the money that we brought in provided, not only food on the table, but also the luxury of putting our two children through a host of extra-cullicular activities including piano lessons for Taslim and hockey equipment and fees for Hasan.
Taslim married Nadir, her long time friend, in 2003. On the 27th of July. Weddings are supposed to be happy events and this one was for my family a very very special time. Nadir and Taslim handled all the details for the occasion themselves even personally decorating the banquet hall with their friends! There were however the little things, mostly traditional, that needed to be taken care of and Nasim handled it all with pride and perfection. It was not easy for her, to be sure, as there were two more weddings in her side of the family within the space of the next 5 weeks.
By the end of August both of us were advised that we would be laid-off from our workplaces before the end of the year. Nasim was devastated by the loss of her job. She began to withdraw. And she was very scared. We were barely making ends meet. And now this. In the years that followed her worrying brought about some pretty serious health challenges. One by one we faced each challenge and tried to look ahead with the confidence that times can only get better and she would enjoy good health after the next visit to the doctor. Then one day in early 2006 we were advised that Nasim had scleroderma. The doctors had not been able to diagnose the dis-ease sooner. The dis-ease was in her lungs.
For those of you not familiar with scleroderma suffice it to say that it is almost always terminal. There is no way of knowing how the dis-ease will progress but as it does it takes away ones strength and mobility. It will not allow the affected organs of the body to function normally. Coupled with this struggle Nasim had to face a host of questions from both friends and family like "what is the doctor saying now?" or "how come you are losing so much weight?". Uncomfortable and sometimes unreasonable questions but Nasim handled most situations with utmost courage.
By 2007, Nasim would need to go to the hospital almost every other month. The doctors would re-hydrate her and get her energy back up again, so to speak, and then send her off to home again. Her food intake dwindled progressively and so did her strength. Through all this she remained very strong in spirit. Her last weekend at home was spent with family and close friends. I drove her to Richmond General Hospital for the last time on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009. She was a familiar figure in the emergency ward by then and joked and laughed with the nurses there. It was like she knew that this was it. She stayed at the hospital the next few nights and passed away with all her family beside her on Saturday, March 7th, in the afternoon at around 4:30 p.m.
At first it felt like a relief to me but within a few weeks I realised the total loss I had suffered. So did the rest of my family but through all the lows we were lucky to have a strong support circle of close family members and friends around us.
So there you have it.
Life has to go on. Lets talk about my time in Ontario next time.
Hope that the weather will hold for one more day as I need to pull several hundred weeds from the garden.
Have a wonderful week.
Thank you Taslim and Nadir and Inaya for bringing over a very tasty fish dinner on the day I arrived from Toronto. Thank you, Hasan, for visiting on Friday. I love you all lots. I am sure Jez was here in spirit too!
Ciao
Abdul
I am going to try and keep this short but it must be said and I think that there is probably no better time than now. Some of you know that I lost my wife, Nasim, on March 7 of this year. It has already been said in my earlier blogs. I am going to say it just one more time. And this time I am going to reveal how she was snatched away slowly but surely by the Supreme Being. I will also try and keep this very objective, no sentiments or heart-tugging stuff.
The year 2003 was an eventful one for my family. Nasim and I had both worked approximately 15 years in our respective jobs. She worked at Vancouver General Hospital and I worked for a multi-national airline catering company. At the turn of the century both of us felt lucky to have jobs we thought we would retire in! Then the chips began to fall. By the beginning of 2003 both of us knew that our days at our jobs were numbered. She was 50 and I was 55 by then. Not the best age to be knocking doors for work. We had struggled to put food on the table. Our jobs were the biggest jihad by far. Neither of us liked our work but the money that we brought in provided, not only food on the table, but also the luxury of putting our two children through a host of extra-cullicular activities including piano lessons for Taslim and hockey equipment and fees for Hasan.
Taslim married Nadir, her long time friend, in 2003. On the 27th of July. Weddings are supposed to be happy events and this one was for my family a very very special time. Nadir and Taslim handled all the details for the occasion themselves even personally decorating the banquet hall with their friends! There were however the little things, mostly traditional, that needed to be taken care of and Nasim handled it all with pride and perfection. It was not easy for her, to be sure, as there were two more weddings in her side of the family within the space of the next 5 weeks.
By the end of August both of us were advised that we would be laid-off from our workplaces before the end of the year. Nasim was devastated by the loss of her job. She began to withdraw. And she was very scared. We were barely making ends meet. And now this. In the years that followed her worrying brought about some pretty serious health challenges. One by one we faced each challenge and tried to look ahead with the confidence that times can only get better and she would enjoy good health after the next visit to the doctor. Then one day in early 2006 we were advised that Nasim had scleroderma. The doctors had not been able to diagnose the dis-ease sooner. The dis-ease was in her lungs.
For those of you not familiar with scleroderma suffice it to say that it is almost always terminal. There is no way of knowing how the dis-ease will progress but as it does it takes away ones strength and mobility. It will not allow the affected organs of the body to function normally. Coupled with this struggle Nasim had to face a host of questions from both friends and family like "what is the doctor saying now?" or "how come you are losing so much weight?". Uncomfortable and sometimes unreasonable questions but Nasim handled most situations with utmost courage.
By 2007, Nasim would need to go to the hospital almost every other month. The doctors would re-hydrate her and get her energy back up again, so to speak, and then send her off to home again. Her food intake dwindled progressively and so did her strength. Through all this she remained very strong in spirit. Her last weekend at home was spent with family and close friends. I drove her to Richmond General Hospital for the last time on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009. She was a familiar figure in the emergency ward by then and joked and laughed with the nurses there. It was like she knew that this was it. She stayed at the hospital the next few nights and passed away with all her family beside her on Saturday, March 7th, in the afternoon at around 4:30 p.m.
At first it felt like a relief to me but within a few weeks I realised the total loss I had suffered. So did the rest of my family but through all the lows we were lucky to have a strong support circle of close family members and friends around us.
So there you have it.
Life has to go on. Lets talk about my time in Ontario next time.
Hope that the weather will hold for one more day as I need to pull several hundred weeds from the garden.
Have a wonderful week.
Thank you Taslim and Nadir and Inaya for bringing over a very tasty fish dinner on the day I arrived from Toronto. Thank you, Hasan, for visiting on Friday. I love you all lots. I am sure Jez was here in spirit too!
Ciao
Abdul
Friday, September 18, 2009
"Love, love me do".......... The Beatles
Hello everyone,
This is a small diversion.
One's mind receives a surprisingly high number of thoughts (is it 60,000?) per day.
This is what I found on the web from one of the the multitude of thoughts that I received today.
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours; they belong only to themselves. Possessive and controlling friendships and relationships can be as harmful as neglect."
I think I will say "till next time"
Talk to you soon.
Abdul
This is a small diversion.
One's mind receives a surprisingly high number of thoughts (is it 60,000?) per day.
This is what I found on the web from one of the the multitude of thoughts that I received today.
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours; they belong only to themselves. Possessive and controlling friendships and relationships can be as harmful as neglect."
I think I will say "till next time"
Talk to you soon.
Abdul
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wrap yourselves around our sunsets!
Hello Friends and all,
I am back from my six-day hiatus on the South Shores of Nipissing Lake. Drove there straight, from the moment I arrived, at the Lester B. Pearson Airport in Toronto. Let me just get this out right away. I am a truly changed man and I know that the devil is in the details. I promise I will lead you to the details soon. I just do not know where to start. Why not start at the very beginning!
About three months ago my daughter kind of talked me into creating my own blog. She had just started one of hers and maybe, I thought, that she was kind of just too carried away with it. So, for the heck of it, I created a blog site for myself and called it - No High Ground. For two months I posted nothing - nada, kapish. What did I have to blog about I asked myself. Nothing really. Anyways, I was working on my profile and I came to the edit picture profile part. I do not have my picture (thank God) on my computer and so I whisked over to sample pictures on my computer that had been loaded onto it by Microsoft, I guess, when they manufactured this computer many years ago. Of the four most beautiful pictures that I could have uploaded I chose the one that shows a really nice sunset. Unbeknown to me at that time was the fact that I would be going away for a week soon. To a place that is nationally known for its sunsets. Just check out my picture on my profile. I have now replaced the 'generic' picture of a sunset with the picture of the sun setting on the horizon at Nipissing Lake. I was told by the very warm person sitting next to me at Rebecca's wedding reception party that those sunsets are among the top ten must see natural sights in Canada! I did not know that when I was nudged into attending Rebecca's wedding on September 12th, 2009 in North Bay. What a beautiful wedding. But more about it later. Need to focus on the flow here.
Those of you who have followed my blogs to this point are probably wondering if I found the Genie in the bottle on the shores of Nipissing Lake. I have already told you that I am a changed man. I also said in my last blog that the Genie (in the bottle) on the beach at Nippissing Lake will replace my don't wants with my must haves. Which is take away the anger and give me fun and laughter, and take away my restlessness and give me peace, and finally take away my senseless worrying and give me vibrant colours. The fact is that there is no Nippissing Lake but there is a Nipissing Lake. I had mispelled it all along. Genies do not like that. Of course I had no idea when I was writing my blogs of my inexcuseable error. I only realised it when I noticed an article on the wall in our cottage that I had spelt Nipissing with an extra 'p' all along. Bad mistake. Genies do not like any mistakes let alone a bad mistake. Thankfully Genies are forgiving especially if one is determined to bring about good to oneself and to those around oneself. Without blinking an eye I apologized to the imaginary Genie and prayed that I would be able to connect with him and have my wishes fulfilled.
Lets go back to almost the beginning. A very good place to start. I arrived at the sidewalk at Terminal 3 arrivals at like ten to six. Ten minutes later, as I was just beginning to wonder how much longer I would have to endure the endless car and bus traffic and the mega surrounding concrete buildings and overpasses, I saw my ride drive up. I felt a little emotional at meeting my cousin and his wife. Also tagging along with us as a last minute addition to the trip to the cottage was Rishma, my cousin's wife's daughter. Very impressive person this Rishma. She gave me a very very polite "hello uncle" and I quickly wondered if all four of us were going to be compatible companions as we were headed into the wilderness and had planned on staying together for five nights. My cousin's loosest lips, his wife's no-nonsense manners, Rishma's extreme politeness and my numb mind and tired body. A recipe for 'the mother of all disasters' I thought at the time. Thankfully I was wrong again. It maybe my mental and physical state that caused these extreme failures in my judgement (and spelling!). But that is exactly why at a few minutes after six in the evening on Thursday the 10th of September, 2009, I was on my way to find peace and love where it would be best to go and where Karma was taking me now. I reminded myself to 'go with the flow' and to 'live in the moment'.
The title of this blog is actually a slogan on the stationery of Cosy Cove Cottages. Bud and Linda Link have owned and run this place for twenty, yes twenty years, and are among some of the most wonderful people I have ever met.
We will arrive at Cosy Cove Cottages soon. With a little help from Aggie.
Let's meet again soon and chat some more. There's more, much more.
For now, I need to get out there. I like the smell of freshly cut grass. Not so much the noisy lawnmower. Its time to mow my lawn. After a week away playing the lazy turtle it will be a chore. Love my family for their Blackberrys and staying in touch.
Bye for now.
Abdul
I am back from my six-day hiatus on the South Shores of Nipissing Lake. Drove there straight, from the moment I arrived, at the Lester B. Pearson Airport in Toronto. Let me just get this out right away. I am a truly changed man and I know that the devil is in the details. I promise I will lead you to the details soon. I just do not know where to start. Why not start at the very beginning!
About three months ago my daughter kind of talked me into creating my own blog. She had just started one of hers and maybe, I thought, that she was kind of just too carried away with it. So, for the heck of it, I created a blog site for myself and called it - No High Ground. For two months I posted nothing - nada, kapish. What did I have to blog about I asked myself. Nothing really. Anyways, I was working on my profile and I came to the edit picture profile part. I do not have my picture (thank God) on my computer and so I whisked over to sample pictures on my computer that had been loaded onto it by Microsoft, I guess, when they manufactured this computer many years ago. Of the four most beautiful pictures that I could have uploaded I chose the one that shows a really nice sunset. Unbeknown to me at that time was the fact that I would be going away for a week soon. To a place that is nationally known for its sunsets. Just check out my picture on my profile. I have now replaced the 'generic' picture of a sunset with the picture of the sun setting on the horizon at Nipissing Lake. I was told by the very warm person sitting next to me at Rebecca's wedding reception party that those sunsets are among the top ten must see natural sights in Canada! I did not know that when I was nudged into attending Rebecca's wedding on September 12th, 2009 in North Bay. What a beautiful wedding. But more about it later. Need to focus on the flow here.
Those of you who have followed my blogs to this point are probably wondering if I found the Genie in the bottle on the shores of Nipissing Lake. I have already told you that I am a changed man. I also said in my last blog that the Genie (in the bottle) on the beach at Nippissing Lake will replace my don't wants with my must haves. Which is take away the anger and give me fun and laughter, and take away my restlessness and give me peace, and finally take away my senseless worrying and give me vibrant colours. The fact is that there is no Nippissing Lake but there is a Nipissing Lake. I had mispelled it all along. Genies do not like that. Of course I had no idea when I was writing my blogs of my inexcuseable error. I only realised it when I noticed an article on the wall in our cottage that I had spelt Nipissing with an extra 'p' all along. Bad mistake. Genies do not like any mistakes let alone a bad mistake. Thankfully Genies are forgiving especially if one is determined to bring about good to oneself and to those around oneself. Without blinking an eye I apologized to the imaginary Genie and prayed that I would be able to connect with him and have my wishes fulfilled.
Lets go back to almost the beginning. A very good place to start. I arrived at the sidewalk at Terminal 3 arrivals at like ten to six. Ten minutes later, as I was just beginning to wonder how much longer I would have to endure the endless car and bus traffic and the mega surrounding concrete buildings and overpasses, I saw my ride drive up. I felt a little emotional at meeting my cousin and his wife. Also tagging along with us as a last minute addition to the trip to the cottage was Rishma, my cousin's wife's daughter. Very impressive person this Rishma. She gave me a very very polite "hello uncle" and I quickly wondered if all four of us were going to be compatible companions as we were headed into the wilderness and had planned on staying together for five nights. My cousin's loosest lips, his wife's no-nonsense manners, Rishma's extreme politeness and my numb mind and tired body. A recipe for 'the mother of all disasters' I thought at the time. Thankfully I was wrong again. It maybe my mental and physical state that caused these extreme failures in my judgement (and spelling!). But that is exactly why at a few minutes after six in the evening on Thursday the 10th of September, 2009, I was on my way to find peace and love where it would be best to go and where Karma was taking me now. I reminded myself to 'go with the flow' and to 'live in the moment'.
The title of this blog is actually a slogan on the stationery of Cosy Cove Cottages. Bud and Linda Link have owned and run this place for twenty, yes twenty years, and are among some of the most wonderful people I have ever met.
We will arrive at Cosy Cove Cottages soon. With a little help from Aggie.
Let's meet again soon and chat some more. There's more, much more.
For now, I need to get out there. I like the smell of freshly cut grass. Not so much the noisy lawnmower. Its time to mow my lawn. After a week away playing the lazy turtle it will be a chore. Love my family for their Blackberrys and staying in touch.
Bye for now.
Abdul
Saturday, September 5, 2009
IF YOU CHANGE .............................
Hello everyone,
Sometimes I just wonder if I should ever worry about anything. Anything at all. One way to get round it is to ask yourself "is it a matter of life or death?" I guess you have figured out where I am going with this. Then again there are those amongst us who are born worriers.
The other night I was in bed and, as has been the case for sometime now, could not fall asleep. Then it was like after midnight and I turned to the trusty TV to somehow set me up for a couple hours of sleep. I flipped and flipped. Channels of course. On the knowledge network I saw a familiar figure - non other than Dr Wayne Dyer. He was midway through his presentation and said something like this. I want you to think carefully about what I am going to say now.
"If you change the way you look at things, then the things you look at will change".
Impressive stuff. I wondered what things I would want to 'change the way' I look at. The Power of Positive Thinking.
I may be totally losing it. Better try to get some sleep. Balm of hurt minds.
Goodnight, and lets chat again in a couple of weeks when I come back from my highly anticipated trip to cottage country Ontario. Let me warn you though. I may be a changed man then. I may find a way, in the wilderness, to re-light that fire in my soul that will return me to being a caring, loving, peaceful and forgiving person I have always known myself to be.
I promise the Creator that I will train myself to "change the way I look at things.............................." My newly found anger, restlessness and senseless worrying is just a phase at this time which the Genie (in the bottle) that I will find on the beach at Nippissing Lake will take away from me and replace them with peace, vibrant colours, fun and laughter in my life again. And in the lives of all that I have touched and will touch as I will move forward with my journey on this Earth. I will never ever forget to write how blessed I am, to have a family that loves me and I love most dearly, in every piece I pen on this forum.
Sleep tight.
Abdul
Sometimes I just wonder if I should ever worry about anything. Anything at all. One way to get round it is to ask yourself "is it a matter of life or death?" I guess you have figured out where I am going with this. Then again there are those amongst us who are born worriers.
The other night I was in bed and, as has been the case for sometime now, could not fall asleep. Then it was like after midnight and I turned to the trusty TV to somehow set me up for a couple hours of sleep. I flipped and flipped. Channels of course. On the knowledge network I saw a familiar figure - non other than Dr Wayne Dyer. He was midway through his presentation and said something like this. I want you to think carefully about what I am going to say now.
"If you change the way you look at things, then the things you look at will change".
Impressive stuff. I wondered what things I would want to 'change the way' I look at. The Power of Positive Thinking.
I may be totally losing it. Better try to get some sleep. Balm of hurt minds.
Goodnight, and lets chat again in a couple of weeks when I come back from my highly anticipated trip to cottage country Ontario. Let me warn you though. I may be a changed man then. I may find a way, in the wilderness, to re-light that fire in my soul that will return me to being a caring, loving, peaceful and forgiving person I have always known myself to be.
I promise the Creator that I will train myself to "change the way I look at things.............................." My newly found anger, restlessness and senseless worrying is just a phase at this time which the Genie (in the bottle) that I will find on the beach at Nippissing Lake will take away from me and replace them with peace, vibrant colours, fun and laughter in my life again. And in the lives of all that I have touched and will touch as I will move forward with my journey on this Earth. I will never ever forget to write how blessed I am, to have a family that loves me and I love most dearly, in every piece I pen on this forum.
Sleep tight.
Abdul
Sunday, August 30, 2009
The night shift
Hello all,
All of a sudden I am blogging, so much to share. Hopefully I can get into all the wonderful and happy events of these past few weeks and months. I do not take anything for granted anymore. I have slowed down to smell the roses. Ah! Roses, if I could only find some way of having rose bushes in my garden. The few previous times I have tried the bugs got the better of the bushes. My wife's most favourite flower!
It will be six months September 7 since Nasim said goodbye. I am finding it harder and harder to fall asleep as days roll on. There is just so much going on. In my mind which is working overtime. Where's the on-off switch? I guess there is no such thing. Let me just tell you about one positive distraction that I have stumbled over. Distraction from the pain.
Over three or four years ago I imagined that I was working with cement, yes cement. Making garden statuaries. I have always admired, since a long time ago, garden ornaments like the figure of Buddha, the lantern or even just a simple form of a frog. At the time I had no garden but thats a whole another blog hopefully soon. These simple garden ornaments have a soothing effect on some people. I am one of them. What a wonderful thing it would be to have a little garden. With a pond and a waterfall, maybe. With squirrels and frogs and turtles and a lantern and of course a Buddha all made of cement even.
The other day I saw an advertisement on the internet. Someone was selling all the equipment and materials you would need to make cement garden ornaments! Just what I had thought about few years ago. I decided to wait a couple days. There was some energy though that kept telling me to look that advertisement up again. Two days later it was still there. By that time I had probably checked it out on the internet a half dozen times. The way I look at these things is that I must have wanted it badly enough to have invested enough thought on it over the years so the Universe was now making it happen.
I finally decided to make the call. Things started rolling. Pieces began to fall in place. I was going to go for it! That was couple weeks ago. Now I have in my garage at home just over a hundred pieces of cement garden ornaments from frogs, eagles, squirrels and bears to gnomes and mermaids. And more. That is just the first part of the whole deal. Drove over 500 kilometres one way in a single day to fetch them. Heavy like you cannot believe. I go back again very soon, another 400 kilometres one way to pick up more stuff. Molds and cement mixer and vibrating table. And more ornaments!
I do not know where things will go from then. Will I be working with cement soon? It remains to be seen.
I hope that this distraction in my life at this time will bring me some peace and joy. That I will be able to spread that happiness to my family and beyond. Relationships have been a real struggle for me since I am alone. I do not know how I will feel tomorrow or the next day. It seemed for a while that I was having more good days in a week than bad. For the last five or six weeks I have experienced the worst pain and grief. I know this is a process but it is so unpredictable
My son was with me last night as he drove me home from a wonderful get-together at my daughter's place. Calmly he told me. "Dad I will get you a dog very soon. So be ready". He must have sensed my loneliness. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family.
Think I will try falling asleep now. It's almost five in the morning!
Good bye for now.
All of a sudden I am blogging, so much to share. Hopefully I can get into all the wonderful and happy events of these past few weeks and months. I do not take anything for granted anymore. I have slowed down to smell the roses. Ah! Roses, if I could only find some way of having rose bushes in my garden. The few previous times I have tried the bugs got the better of the bushes. My wife's most favourite flower!
It will be six months September 7 since Nasim said goodbye. I am finding it harder and harder to fall asleep as days roll on. There is just so much going on. In my mind which is working overtime. Where's the on-off switch? I guess there is no such thing. Let me just tell you about one positive distraction that I have stumbled over. Distraction from the pain.
Over three or four years ago I imagined that I was working with cement, yes cement. Making garden statuaries. I have always admired, since a long time ago, garden ornaments like the figure of Buddha, the lantern or even just a simple form of a frog. At the time I had no garden but thats a whole another blog hopefully soon. These simple garden ornaments have a soothing effect on some people. I am one of them. What a wonderful thing it would be to have a little garden. With a pond and a waterfall, maybe. With squirrels and frogs and turtles and a lantern and of course a Buddha all made of cement even.
The other day I saw an advertisement on the internet. Someone was selling all the equipment and materials you would need to make cement garden ornaments! Just what I had thought about few years ago. I decided to wait a couple days. There was some energy though that kept telling me to look that advertisement up again. Two days later it was still there. By that time I had probably checked it out on the internet a half dozen times. The way I look at these things is that I must have wanted it badly enough to have invested enough thought on it over the years so the Universe was now making it happen.
I finally decided to make the call. Things started rolling. Pieces began to fall in place. I was going to go for it! That was couple weeks ago. Now I have in my garage at home just over a hundred pieces of cement garden ornaments from frogs, eagles, squirrels and bears to gnomes and mermaids. And more. That is just the first part of the whole deal. Drove over 500 kilometres one way in a single day to fetch them. Heavy like you cannot believe. I go back again very soon, another 400 kilometres one way to pick up more stuff. Molds and cement mixer and vibrating table. And more ornaments!
I do not know where things will go from then. Will I be working with cement soon? It remains to be seen.
I hope that this distraction in my life at this time will bring me some peace and joy. That I will be able to spread that happiness to my family and beyond. Relationships have been a real struggle for me since I am alone. I do not know how I will feel tomorrow or the next day. It seemed for a while that I was having more good days in a week than bad. For the last five or six weeks I have experienced the worst pain and grief. I know this is a process but it is so unpredictable
My son was with me last night as he drove me home from a wonderful get-together at my daughter's place. Calmly he told me. "Dad I will get you a dog very soon. So be ready". He must have sensed my loneliness. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family.
Think I will try falling asleep now. It's almost five in the morning!
Good bye for now.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
What a difference a thought makes
hello,
This is my first blog and I am trying, through different channels, to find some way of 'getting back on track'. As you read on you will understand why. I hope that I will not dissappoint. So here goes.............
The other day I received an invite to my daughter's friend's wedding. Of course she got the invite too. The card a simple form with very simple words. Rebecca marrying Steve, time, date and place. Sounds simple. The moment I received this card in the mail my world began to change some. Now one might say nothing remains the same so what is the big deal about change. For a start, the card was enclosed in like a hand-made cover in a vibrant chilli red. Very personal and oh so very touching to the heart. I receive about two or three invitation cards in a year from birthdays to weddings. Which is not a lot. I guess I need to work on being more popular! I felt really good, though, that Rebecca had thought about me.
I have known Rebecca for many years. She is my daugther, Taslim's best friend, class-mate and neighbour since way back in 2002/2003. Or maybe it was 2001/2002. It was a while ago. They had rented suites in homes next to each other. I first met her, and Steve, when she graduated with my daughter at the Georgian College in Orillia which is quite a ways north of Toronto, Canada. The moment I saw her I knew that this person is a keeper. Always smiling with a vibrant personality. I saw her and Steve next when they travelled from Ontario to be with my daughter for her wedding in July 2003. A most welcome guest, and that infectious smile, a much admired feature during all the pre and post wedding gatherings.
Then it was time for her to head home to Ontario and more school. Couple of weeks after her wedding Taslim and her newly-acquired hubby, Nadir, moved to Niagara Falls, Ontario for her two years at the State University of New York in Buffalo, NY. So they were close in a geographical sense. And they were very close as friends.
Taslim was probably more excited than I was to receive this invitation for the wedding of her true best friend. Then she had just found out that she is expecting her second child. Pregnancy and travel is not a good match, sometimes, I am told. In this case I knew that she would not travel. It was close to the RSVP date, August 12th, and I was visiting Taslim when she said in a calm voice. "I have a thought dad, why don't YOU go to Rebecca's wedding?" In an effort to sound supportive I said sure. I will go.
There was no going back. Not that I wanted to either. There were many reasons, besides the wedding, that I should go. To North Bay. To the most pristine wilderness of Northern Ontario. In the middle of September, the most beautiful time of the year to be in that area. I shall let you know how valid that statement is. I am only quoting the very nice lady at the other end of the phone who is the owner of some cottages 'at the south end of Nippissing Lake' in a very secluded cove. 22 minutes to North Bay. Sounds fabulous. Clean log cabin by the lake with oodles of critters around. Wildly peaceful. I decided to go 2 days ahead of the wedding and stay 3 more days after. One cannot travel from Delta, BC to a remote cove in a lake in Northern Ontario too frequently. I was going to go there and get lazy and meditate.
Did I say meditate? Fat chance. My cousin had arrived in Toronto from Kenya a couple months earlier and had been calling me every other day to go visit him there. This guy has the loosest pair of lips on this earth. He has wit combined with energy that can sometimes make one reach for a muzzle or ear protectors. That is the other reason I want to go. To Toronto first. With the coldest people in Canada. Says Coors. But this guy is hot, just ask his bride of 2 years. Both married a second time.
It would, of course, be best for him to travel to Vancouver and meet the rest of his family in Canada. That would not work he told me. Doctor's orders. Nervous bum problem. Very painful, he says, and sometimes quite bloody. I will stop there as I am getting into a very sensitive area!
The most important reason, and a pretty close second to the wedding, is that I have been unkindly pushed into an arena that I am not quite familiar with. Its been close to six months. I have to redefine my needs, my earthly journey, my friends, my relations, my actions, my schedules and a whole lot more. I have to find myself all over again. What do I want from my life going forward? What are my interests? Do I have any hobbies? It can be overwhelming but I am lucky to have five very important people in my life today. My son-in-law, Nadir, my grand-daughter, Inaya, my daughter Taslim and my son, Hasan. Of course there is Jez (the Bez), my son's partner. Missing in the picture is my wife, Nasim, who bid farewell and crossed over to the other side on March 7 of this year. Missing in the picture but not from our lives. Guiding us, as she always did, now from a different plane.
My name is Abdul and I thank you all for listening. My next post will include some changes I have made and some I have seen since my wife's passing on. Mostly good stuff. The pain though can have the better of you at times. Things change. That is His plan and we have to accept it. Be careful what you think though as it can get you moving in a direction you never guessed. Hopefully it is the right direction.
Bye for now.
This is my first blog and I am trying, through different channels, to find some way of 'getting back on track'. As you read on you will understand why. I hope that I will not dissappoint. So here goes.............
The other day I received an invite to my daughter's friend's wedding. Of course she got the invite too. The card a simple form with very simple words. Rebecca marrying Steve, time, date and place. Sounds simple. The moment I received this card in the mail my world began to change some. Now one might say nothing remains the same so what is the big deal about change. For a start, the card was enclosed in like a hand-made cover in a vibrant chilli red. Very personal and oh so very touching to the heart. I receive about two or three invitation cards in a year from birthdays to weddings. Which is not a lot. I guess I need to work on being more popular! I felt really good, though, that Rebecca had thought about me.
I have known Rebecca for many years. She is my daugther, Taslim's best friend, class-mate and neighbour since way back in 2002/2003. Or maybe it was 2001/2002. It was a while ago. They had rented suites in homes next to each other. I first met her, and Steve, when she graduated with my daughter at the Georgian College in Orillia which is quite a ways north of Toronto, Canada. The moment I saw her I knew that this person is a keeper. Always smiling with a vibrant personality. I saw her and Steve next when they travelled from Ontario to be with my daughter for her wedding in July 2003. A most welcome guest, and that infectious smile, a much admired feature during all the pre and post wedding gatherings.
Then it was time for her to head home to Ontario and more school. Couple of weeks after her wedding Taslim and her newly-acquired hubby, Nadir, moved to Niagara Falls, Ontario for her two years at the State University of New York in Buffalo, NY. So they were close in a geographical sense. And they were very close as friends.
Taslim was probably more excited than I was to receive this invitation for the wedding of her true best friend. Then she had just found out that she is expecting her second child. Pregnancy and travel is not a good match, sometimes, I am told. In this case I knew that she would not travel. It was close to the RSVP date, August 12th, and I was visiting Taslim when she said in a calm voice. "I have a thought dad, why don't YOU go to Rebecca's wedding?" In an effort to sound supportive I said sure. I will go.
There was no going back. Not that I wanted to either. There were many reasons, besides the wedding, that I should go. To North Bay. To the most pristine wilderness of Northern Ontario. In the middle of September, the most beautiful time of the year to be in that area. I shall let you know how valid that statement is. I am only quoting the very nice lady at the other end of the phone who is the owner of some cottages 'at the south end of Nippissing Lake' in a very secluded cove. 22 minutes to North Bay. Sounds fabulous. Clean log cabin by the lake with oodles of critters around. Wildly peaceful. I decided to go 2 days ahead of the wedding and stay 3 more days after. One cannot travel from Delta, BC to a remote cove in a lake in Northern Ontario too frequently. I was going to go there and get lazy and meditate.
Did I say meditate? Fat chance. My cousin had arrived in Toronto from Kenya a couple months earlier and had been calling me every other day to go visit him there. This guy has the loosest pair of lips on this earth. He has wit combined with energy that can sometimes make one reach for a muzzle or ear protectors. That is the other reason I want to go. To Toronto first. With the coldest people in Canada. Says Coors. But this guy is hot, just ask his bride of 2 years. Both married a second time.
It would, of course, be best for him to travel to Vancouver and meet the rest of his family in Canada. That would not work he told me. Doctor's orders. Nervous bum problem. Very painful, he says, and sometimes quite bloody. I will stop there as I am getting into a very sensitive area!
The most important reason, and a pretty close second to the wedding, is that I have been unkindly pushed into an arena that I am not quite familiar with. Its been close to six months. I have to redefine my needs, my earthly journey, my friends, my relations, my actions, my schedules and a whole lot more. I have to find myself all over again. What do I want from my life going forward? What are my interests? Do I have any hobbies? It can be overwhelming but I am lucky to have five very important people in my life today. My son-in-law, Nadir, my grand-daughter, Inaya, my daughter Taslim and my son, Hasan. Of course there is Jez (the Bez), my son's partner. Missing in the picture is my wife, Nasim, who bid farewell and crossed over to the other side on March 7 of this year. Missing in the picture but not from our lives. Guiding us, as she always did, now from a different plane.
My name is Abdul and I thank you all for listening. My next post will include some changes I have made and some I have seen since my wife's passing on. Mostly good stuff. The pain though can have the better of you at times. Things change. That is His plan and we have to accept it. Be careful what you think though as it can get you moving in a direction you never guessed. Hopefully it is the right direction.
Bye for now.
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