What a difference a thought makes

hello,
This is my first blog and I am trying, through different channels, to find some way of 'getting back on track'. As you read on you will understand why. I hope that I will not dissappoint. So here goes.............



The other day I received an invite to my daughter's friend's wedding. Of course she got the invite too. The card a simple form with very simple words. Rebecca marrying Steve, time, date and place. Sounds simple. The moment I received this card in the mail my world began to change some. Now one might say nothing remains the same so what is the big deal about change. For a start, the card was enclosed in like a hand-made cover in a vibrant chilli red. Very personal and oh so very touching to the heart. I receive about two or three invitation cards in a year from birthdays to weddings. Which is not a lot. I guess I need to work on being more popular! I felt really good, though, that Rebecca had thought about me.

I have known Rebecca for many years. She is my daugther, Taslim's best friend, class-mate and neighbour since way back in 2002/2003. Or maybe it was 2001/2002. It was a while ago. They had rented suites in homes next to each other. I first met her, and Steve, when she graduated with my daughter at the Georgian College in Orillia which is quite a ways north of Toronto, Canada. The moment I saw her I knew that this person is a keeper. Always smiling with a vibrant personality. I saw her and Steve next when they travelled from Ontario to be with my daughter for her wedding in July 2003. A most welcome guest, and that infectious smile, a much admired feature during all the pre and post wedding gatherings.

Then it was time for her to head home to Ontario and more school. Couple of weeks after her wedding Taslim and her newly-acquired hubby, Nadir, moved to Niagara Falls, Ontario for her two years at the State University of New York in Buffalo, NY. So they were close in a geographical sense. And they were very close as friends.

Taslim was probably more excited than I was to receive this invitation for the wedding of her true best friend. Then she had just found out that she is expecting her second child. Pregnancy and travel is not a good match, sometimes, I am told. In this case I knew that she would not travel. It was close to the RSVP date, August 12th, and I was visiting Taslim when she said in a calm voice. "I have a thought dad, why don't YOU go to Rebecca's wedding?" In an effort to sound supportive I said sure. I will go.

There was no going back. Not that I wanted to either. There were many reasons, besides the wedding, that I should go. To North Bay. To the most pristine wilderness of Northern Ontario. In the middle of September, the most beautiful time of the year to be in that area. I shall let you know how valid that statement is. I am only quoting the very nice lady at the other end of the phone who is the owner of some cottages 'at the south end of Nippissing Lake' in a very secluded cove. 22 minutes to North Bay. Sounds fabulous. Clean log cabin by the lake with oodles of critters around. Wildly peaceful. I decided to go 2 days ahead of the wedding and stay 3 more days after. One cannot travel from Delta, BC to a remote cove in a lake in Northern Ontario too frequently. I was going to go there and get lazy and meditate.

Did I say meditate? Fat chance. My cousin had arrived in Toronto from Kenya a couple months earlier and had been calling me every other day to go visit him there. This guy has the loosest pair of lips on this earth. He has wit combined with energy that can sometimes make one reach for a muzzle or ear protectors. That is the other reason I want to go. To Toronto first. With the coldest people in Canada. Says Coors. But this guy is hot, just ask his bride of 2 years. Both married a second time.

It would, of course, be best for him to travel to Vancouver and meet the rest of his family in Canada. That would not work he told me. Doctor's orders. Nervous bum problem. Very painful, he says, and sometimes quite bloody. I will stop there as I am getting into a very sensitive area!

The most important reason, and a pretty close second to the wedding, is that I have been unkindly pushed into an arena that I am not quite familiar with. Its been close to six months. I have to redefine my needs, my earthly journey, my friends, my relations, my actions, my schedules and a whole lot more. I have to find myself all over again. What do I want from my life going forward? What are my interests? Do I have any hobbies? It can be overwhelming but I am lucky to have five very important people in my life today. My son-in-law, Nadir, my grand-daughter, Inaya, my daughter Taslim and my son, Hasan. Of course there is Jez (the Bez), my son's partner. Missing in the picture is my wife, Nasim, who bid farewell and crossed over to the other side on March 7 of this year. Missing in the picture but not from our lives. Guiding us, as she always did, now from a different plane.

My name is Abdul and I thank you all for listening. My next post will include some changes I have made and some I have seen since my wife's passing on. Mostly good stuff. The pain though can have the better of you at times. Things change. That is His plan and we have to accept it. Be careful what you think though as it can get you moving in a direction you never guessed. Hopefully it is the right direction.

Bye for now.